Parenting with Understanding

I first became aware of L.R.Knost’s writing when I came across her blog at Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources – full of great articles and sound advice for parents – so I was very pleased when she contacted me asking me to take a look at her new book, “Whispers Through Time: Communication Through the Ages and Stages of Childhood“, which was released earlier this month.

As the title suggests, the book moves through all the stages of childhood, from newborns right through to teens. But it focuses not just on how we communicate with children, but on our attitudes, perceptions, approaches and listening skills. 

Common problem areas such as dealing with tantrums, whining, teenage backtalk, tattlers or tell-tales, and lying are all covered, as well as many other areas like the importance of play and how to weave it into our daily routines, baby signing, and taking care of ourselves as parents. 

Here are some of my favourite passages:

“Parents, choose your words wisely, carefully, thoughtfully. In the same way that violence begets violence and anger begets anger, kindness begets kindness and peace begets peace. Sow words of peace, words that build, words that show respect and belief and support. Those are the seeds of a future filled with goodness and hope and compassion, and aren’t those the things we really want for our children, after all?” 

“Consciously, intentionally , and consistently living out how we want our children to turn out is the most powerful and effective character training there is. The lessons they will take into the future will consist far more of how we treat them than what we teach them.” 

“As parents, our actions will always be reflected in our children’s behavior. Children learn what they live. No amount of lecturing can undo the powerful impact on a child of their parent’s own behavior and choices.” 

“Parents who are focused on control often find the idea of an interactive response rather than instant, unquestioning obedience from their child to be an uncomfortable concept. It’s in that exchange of thoughts , though, that children learn how an adult thinks and that they begin to internalize the belief systems and values parents ultimately want their children to take into adulthood.” 

“The punitive parenting approach focuses on the child as the problem and attempts to solve the problem by ‘fixing’ the child through intentionally unpleasant external forces. The gentle parenting approach focuses on the child having a problem and attempts to help the child solve the problem through connection, communication, and inviting cooperation.”

Do any of these passages resonate with you? Are there any ‘problem areas’ you’d like more help with? Leave a comment for a chance to win a free copy of the book!

L.R.Knost, is an independent child development researcher and founder and director of the advocacy and consulting group, Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources. A mother of six, her children range from 25- years down to 25-months-old. Two Thousand Kisses a Day: Gentle Parenting Through the Ages and Stages and Whispers Through Time: Communication Through the Ages and Stages of Childhood are the first in her Little Hearts Handbooks series of parenting guides. The next book in the series, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline is due to be released November 2013. Other works by this award-winning author include the children’s picture books A Walk in the Clouds, Petey’s Listening Ears, and the soon-to-be-released Grumpykins series for ages 2 to 6, which are humorous and engaging tools for parents, teachers, and caregivers to use in implementing gentle parenting techniques in their homes and schools.

This post is part of the Virtual Book Tour for the launch of L.R.Knost’s newest release Whispers Through Time: Communication Through the Ages and Stages of Childhood. Click here if you’d like to check out all of the other stops on the tour!